The Balancing Act

Trying to find the right balance of work, family and self

Without wanting to sound like a fuddy duddy I have  been a little taken back by the work, life decisions to new celebrity mums Fifi Box and Chrissie Swan have made. Chrissie Swan was back hosting channel ten show Can of Worms less than a month after the arrival of her third child. And Fifi Box is planning on returning to work 6 to 8 weeks after the birth of her first child. Admittedly I don’t know how these work situations will look, Chrissie did mention on Can of Worms that Peggy was off in the wings of the studio being taken care of and I’m sure she was. My concern isn’t so much for the babies as I am sure, that as Chrissie and Fifi are both loving responsible women they will have suitable care for their kids while they work. My concern is for them. Are they taking on too much too soon?

It is a massive undertaking bringing a baby into this world there is a physical assault to the body, hormones and emotions are a roller coaster ride. For me personally it took months after the birth of my second child to really feel like I was feeling like myself  and back in the of things again (I don’t think I ever really returned to my old self after the birth of my first child). And that was without working outside of the family unit.

There seems to be ever increasing pressure from new mums to keep up, drop the baby weight, look gorgeous , be on top of things. Why cant we just be, be a little sloppy, take nap without guilt, eat reheated food for a while?  Why can’t we admit and except the bleeding obvious that having a child is huge, its totally life changing and there will be a few hic ups along the way. I worry these woman are headed down to brake down city.

As I am typing this I can hear woman yelling foul ‘who are you to judge?’ and  ‘its every woman’s right to work when she wants’  and of course it is. But just because I can choice something doesn’t mean that its what is best for me, my family or even the wider community.  I am going to be honest here and confess I love smoking,  and if I could I would smoke all the time. If it was the 1950’s I would have been puffing away on the way home from hospital with the baby in a basket next me. But I know that it’s not good for my health, bad for my children's health and the family budget so I don’t.

It was my understanding that the cracks of the women’s moment was, that woman should be free to make choices, choices that enhance and empower them. As a mum who is trying to find the balance between parenting, working and self I have to be honest and say even though I enjoy my work I haven’t felt  particularly empowered drag my kid into before school care a 7:30am to dash off to work and spend the rest of the day worrying  if he was having a good day.

I believe that there is empowerment in being able to say no. That as new mothers its really important that we can say ‘no, right now I am exhausted I feed my baby in the night and I haven’t had full night sleep in how long and right now I will nap.’ Or I ‘no, I will not stay at home constantly I will bring my baby out and breast feed her in public’.  My deep hope is that both Chrissie and Fifi are returning to work because they want to, that they have been able to arrange their work to suit them. I hope that they don’t feel pressured from their bosses or society to jump back in there.  And if in a few weeks or months if they are feeling that they need to ease back from their work that they can without any big dramas.

I also secretly hope that in a few week I tune into Can of Worms to see Chrissie there with unwashed hair, swaying back and forth speaking in only half sentences not because I dislike Chrissie but those are the trademarks of a mama with a new babe and for those of us who have been there know it all too well.