Funny words we use

Have you ever stopped and thought about the langue around mothering and families some of it is really rather odd when you stop and think about it…

Full time mum- referring to a woman who doesn’t work outside the home, because the days that I go to work I don’t think about my kids, I don’t worry about them, I don’t call to check on them and I would never leave work early because they need me. I am a mother every minute of every day for the rest of my life regardless of if my babes are in my arms, playing in the next room or fully grown.

‘Do you feed the baby yourself?’- My husband answered his elderly aunty well when she asked this in reference to my breast feeding ‘no we put him on the floor of the supermarket so he can find his own food.’ Whether the food comes from your breast or a can or however parents feed children they source what they feel is the best food that the can provide.

Just a mum- normally this is in reference to a woman who doesn’t work outside the home but I'm really not sure what the comment is meant to be referring to that somehow growing humans, feeding clothing them, educating disciplining them, nursing them through the night, chauffeuring them around can be  summed up with the word just.

‘You’ll understand when you have a family’- in reference to someone who how doesn’t have children.  What do you mean? Do you think that people who don’t have children don’t have families? Do you think that they magically appeared one day with no mum no dad possible siblings aunts uncles nieces nephews? Sure there are some people who don’t know there family but they still have a biological family in some form and perhaps they have created their own none biological family that loves and supports them.

‘Was it a normal birth?’- This question is normally trying to work out if bubs was delivered vaginally or with a C-section. Having had two C-sections this one really gets my goat because yes in fact both my babies were delivered with normal C-sections and if you aren’t prepared to say the word vagina or vaginally then don’t ask me about my births.

People use these phrases and langue all the time and whether it is meant to or not it has a lots of judgment attached to it. I don’t think that people say them meaning to be cruel but or judgmental but it often can be. Mostly the people who ask these questions or make these statements aren’t close friends or family they are people busy bodying trying to find out the gossip so they can pass on some amazing tip like if you cuddle your baby to much you will spoil them. I am yet to find away to deflecting these helpful comments but if you have I would love to hear them.

P.S. I have got a friend who has chosen not to have children and when people ask her why she hasn’t had kids she likes to look down cast and say in a quite solemn voice ‘the truth is I really don’t like kids.’