sshhh I like working

Here is another confession. I am a mother, I love my kids very much, feel so blessed to have them. I love hanging out with them, snuggling up together reading books, making a mess and being silly with them. But I also really like working. I often say 'in an ideal world I wouldn't work'.  However I'm not sure if that's really true, I sometimes feel the need to justify particularly to mothers who have chosen to stay at home of my need to work, we need the money, I need to keep my qualification up ect. But the truth is I also really like working, I like the whole package of it I like using my brain in a different way, I like meeting new people, I like having a reason to put smart clothes, I like getting paid because it gives me a feeling of freedom making my own money, not that my husband is the type of man to say that I can't buy stuff if I haven't 'earned' the money, there is just a difference when you know you earned it yourself.

At the moment I am working as a relief teacher which is perfect I only work a couple of days a week which I can fit around family life and still get what I need out of it. There are people out there who will say 'what's the point of having kids if you not going to be around to look after them because your off working all the time?' In part I understand and agree with what they are saying but if you look at it another way I will have worked about 50 or so days by the end of the school year which has made me a happier person thus a better mother. Surly its a good thing if you have suitable childcare arrangement and its mostly working for your family.

 

Please don't fool yourself into thinking that just because you are around your kids more you are a better parent. If you are miserable and disengaged with your kids then you will struggle parenting and we all know what a hard job it is at the best of times.

 

When I had my  first child I was studying to be a teacher. So he was at home with me nearly all the time as I studied off campus around his naps. I started working when he was 4, looking back that year was one of my best years so far. I felt like me and I hadn't felt like me in a long time. I remember a friend asking how I was going with working and shyly replying 'I love it, I think I like it more than I should.' I had always imagined that I would be a full time stay at home parent at least until my children were in school. However circumstances meant I felt I should and I needed to work. People could argue that I didn't really have too but I felt that I did and I am so grateful that I did. Because there is a part of me that is satisfied when I work that doesn't get satisfied any other way.

 

Working is not without its down falls. I have had to make sacrifices, juggle and at times feel guilty that I am away from my kids. Sometimes on my lunch brake if I haven't got someone to chat to I start to wish I had my kids to play with or give a cuddle too. However that doesn't out weigh the positive benefits of working, the increased self esteem, the mental stimulation and the extra money.

Even though I feel mothers guilt at times that my daughter is in child care or my son has to go to after school care. I believe that I am teaching them a valuable life lesson, that as a parent its ok to have wants and needs that get balanced with family responsibilities. That I am equally important to them and just as capable as their father to work outside the home.

 

I don't think that all mothers need to work outside the home to feel fulfilled, have respect and self worth its just how this mother finds those things. However as mothers I do think that we owe it to our kids to be happy, fulfilled and have a sense of self worth because if we don't feel those things ourselves how on earth are we going to past them on to our kids?