Judgemental Cow

We all judge, it’s human nature. Every time I hear someone say I don’t judge” I think bolderdash. We all judge whether it’s a positive or negative judgement it’s all judging.

When someone is saying “don’t judge me” what they are really saying is don’t judge me badly because no one wants to be told they are a crap mother, cheap skate, or nasty but everyone wants to be told what a good job they are doing with their kids, how generous they are and generally fabulous . But it takes judgement to reach that conclusion.

I judge people all day every day and I bet you do to. Often there natural judgments of “oh I don’t think I’d do that” parents spent $1200 on their kids 2^nd birthday party, some positive “how wonderful, clever, amazing, I’m going to copy that pintrest”. And I will not pretend that I won’t judge you badly if I see you calling your 6 year old “a fucking loser”. Yep and if your boyfriends smacks you around I won’t button my lips and pretend like that’s fine I will judge him an arsehole and you in need of help.

I won’t pretend that I can’t be and often am shallow and superficial. Every year my husband and I go to a charity ball with his colleges, every year I have to get a new dress and its often been asked of my why as I have a wardrobe packed with cocktail dresses why not just wear one again. I won’t because we see the say people every year and I remember what they wore year to year so I anticipate that at least the woman we socialise do the same thing to me. I understand that judgment is a two way street and while I am busy judging you; you are judging me and other.

It’s so easy to get caught up in others opinions of ourselves and others, worrying how other judge us. I find it easier as an adult to hold firm to what are my core values and not take on board how others judge me if it’s not in line with my true values.

Judgement can be fleeting. On deeply rotted in anger and hate. In righting this I was trying to come up with ‘rules’ of acceptable judgement like its ok if it’s not with malice, or its only ok if you know the person situation but I kept then thinking of reason the rule would be broken and I would be ok with such as I do feel anger to pediophial , I don’t care who you are or how crap your life is its never ok to rape and beat old an old lady. I equally don’t think its ok to go around discrediting a person because they have gained weight, not had children, wear clothes you don’t like. So the message is judge away my pretties but judge with caution because we get what we are given so you want good things to happen start doing good things and see what happens.