Fine don't have babies...see if I care

Now clearly if you have looked at my blog at all you will have noticed that I am indeed a mother, please no word after it. And yes I love being a mum, yes I feel that it helps me be a better, more enriched person. Do I think every woman should be a mother? Hell no.

For a growing number of women and I even know some of them myself they are saying ‘motherhood is not for me’. These women aren’t cold hearted witches who dislike kids. Certainly for the women I know they enjoy spending time with my kids but when it comes to the full time commitment to raising their own offspring it’s a resounding no thank you.

These women are being called selectively barren or barreness. How dam rude, they are women who don’t want kids big whoop. Is a man less of a man if he doesn’t want kids, isn’t it his biological destiny to spread his seed? Whilst I personally don’t really understand not wanting children (I wanted to be a mother from the moment I got my first period) it doesn’t make it wrong because there are lots of things that I don’t understand but are still perfectly valid life choices, I don’t understand wanting to live on the fringe of a city to have a big house but be away from all your friends and family, I don’t understand spending so much on your kids private school fees that your can’t even go to Philp Island on a camping trip, I don’t understanding not wanting to go on a holiday if its anything less than 5 stars. But people do make these choices and they are perfectly free to and don’t have negative labels put on them and why should they, that’s why its called free choice after all.

I have heard a few older women advising younger women 'just have babies you will regret it if you don't and once that baby is in your arms you will fall in love.' I can't believe that anyone would actually offer this advice. Its so dangerous to think there is a mothering mode that will take over.

I think good on you for knowing what you want and yes there is the chance that you may change your mind, married people do all the time, they get divorced and something that we often ignore is mother sometimes lose interest in their kids and become more self focused and allow other to the bulk of the parenting. Any choice we make we run the risk of regretting it.

But just because you may wake up at 50 and think ‘dam I should have had babies’ doesn’t mean you should start having babies in your 30’s. If your biological clock is ticking but your not feeling clucky then delay having kids but do it with the understanding that one day the choice maybe made for you and you will no longer have the option.