Advice to new mothers

Today I am off to a baby shower, we will shove our faces full on mini quiches and cup cakes while the seasoned mothers in the room will tell their battle stories. Stories of third degree tears, cracked nipples and bodies that are never the same again. The expectant mother and ladies yet to experience these miracles will take it all in half is disbelief and half in fear. 

Having a baby is nothing short of life changing. I am yet to meet a person who has had a child and not found that it dramatically changed their life. But not all change is bad, personally speaking having kids was the best thing I ever did, it got me to really grow up and take responsibility for my and my child's life. '

As I am currently carrying my third baby I feel that I am entitle to spout some words of wisdom, but so as to not take over the party I thought I would share my top advice here first;

- It ok to get it wrong sometimes. Of course you will be hoping that its all smooth running but its like everything in life there will be hiccups along the way. If you are fearful that one or two mistakes (a day) are going to permently scar your kid think back to your childhood, chances are you can think of a few times that your parents could have perhaps handled things differently. And you have turned out all so try not to worry too much it all works out in the end.

- I've said it before and I will say it again opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one. This is especially true when it comes to babies. Take what advice sounds like it might work for you and smile and nod at the rest.

 

- Mother groups can be the best of time and the worst of times. What a great idea get a bunch of ladies together who have all just embarked on this journey of motherhood. They can catch up, share stories, offer each other support, compare sleep routines and prams, get competitive over the milestones their child has meet. Mothers groups can be fantastic but just because you had a baby around the same time as someone doesn't mean you are similar people. Chances are you will not parent is the same way as these other women which is ok, its great to share ideas its not ok to be judged or be judgy so if mother group is more bad than good its ok to say bye-bye. There are other ways to connect with other mums, parent and child yoga classes, ABA breast feeding groups, music and swimming classes.

This is where my girl like to sleep the best

- This is my husbands favourite advice to parents with a new baby that is crying "do you know why the baby is crying?" the parent look at him for hope "cause its a baby" he reply's with glee. Babies do cry and sometimes a lot. You can take the to the doctors or the maternal health nurse but they wont really know its at best an educated guess. Some babies just need to be held a lot. My second child cried I think for three months, she didn't like to be put down, she wanted to be in my arms. The days that worked the best were the ones that I put her in the sling and just went with it. I'm not clear on how we managed but we did, I still somehow got my son to school, washing done and food in tummies, after that everything in my book is a bonus.



Me waiting for baby no. 2 I walked so far to try and bring on labour.

- There will be time that you wish you could call in sick as a mother. I am sorry but I don't believe the women who say "I treasure every moment with my children" really every moment because I will be the first to say I don't treasure cleaning up vomit that my child has projetiled through the car, or the tantrum in the middle of the weekly shop. But I do try and make the best out of early starts, chubby hands trying to feed me porridge, to enjoy the sounds of the kids giggles as they play because the days are long but the years are short. I promise when bubs turns one you will think "where the hell did that year go".   

 

- In the final days of pregnancy its so easy to just want the baby out but try to enjoy the last weeks and days, it really is so much easier when they are on the inside. You will have plenty of time goo and gah over bubs they will make an appearance when they are ready. I can say this because I went to 42 weeks with both my bubs so I know what it is to wait.

 

As much as you can relax and enjoy the roller coaster of motherhood. The dizzying heights of love, the lows of sleep depravation and self doubt. It really is an incredible time.