So you want a baby

I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is thinking she would like to start a family soon. Now at the time of the conversation on line I was trying to settle my 3 month old baby get my 2 year to do a wee on the potty and had my 8 year old asking loads of questions so I may have been less than positive saying things like;

Honestly I'm not just saying it because I'm having a crap morning they are more work than lovely.

and 

I'm very pleased we have the kids but sometimes I wish I could put them on pause for a while and have my own life back for a bit but every thing revolves around them even when u have time for yourself.

I know extremely helpful so i thought I would write this open letter to all the ladies out there considering having a baby. 

Dear Lovely friend with your toned body clean hair and coordinated clothes,

So you gorgeous thing your thinking of having a baby. Let me take this opportunity to let you in on a few secrets.

If you are waiting for the perfect time to have a baby its never going to happen. You will never have had a enough big nights, you will never have traveled enough, you will never have enough money in the bank or enough job security. So if that's what your waiting for then stop waiting. Having a baby is never going to make you richer, give you more time or energy it will cost you every thing you have plus more. But it will be worth it, most of the time.

Please darling friend don't think that you can have a baby and it will just slot into your life of gym, work and dinners out nicely. You can have all of those things but wish so much of a massive juggle that at times it simply doesn't feel worth the effort. So you will stay home with your unwashed hair in your leggings and saggy boobs.
 
Children cost you EVERYTHING, they change your body, your mind and your heart not to mention your C.V. and bank balance. Now i like to think of myself as a modern mother and I have an incredible husband who helps me a great deal with the kids. However my life is more greatly altered due to the arrival of our babies than his. So far my body has been pregnant in total of 123 week, produced a food source for 26 months  been in labor for four days and endured 3 c-sections. Truth be told I didn't have a killer body before kids and whilst proud of what my body has achieved it looks a little worse for wear and no amount of Pilates is going to change that.

I one thing I really hadn't prepared myself for when I had a baby is how much it changed my head and heart. The world is different now I have kids I no longer hit the town with no care of tomorrow. If I do have a baby sitter I know that when i return home I need to be capable of taking care of the young I simply can not be hunge over and lay on the couch all day. I have to be responsible  with my money its not ok with me to buy $250 boots but eat 2 minute untill the next day. No more can I risk it all for just what i want i need to consider how it affects the whole family.

And here is the biggest secret of all there will be a moment you regret it all. You may never be brave enough to say it out loud  but it will be there. You will  say why on earth did I do this, its too much too hard I want to give up and run away. And  it is about 30 seconds after this that your baby will smile, your two year old will crab walk out of the room pantless or your 8 year old with huge you with all their might telling you your the absolute best. Its then that you realise that for some insane reason it is worth it all. Its worth all the sleepless nights, vomit in your hair, interrupted sex. Its unexplainable but worth it. Since becoming a mother I have cried more tears of joy, loved more, laughed harder than I ever imagined. I have learnt more about myself, life and the world through the eyes of my kids. 

Its not just the cute and funny moment that make it worth while. its when i stand back and watch my family in action I know that i have helped create something bigger than myself, something that will last beyond me. And without sounding OTT I think this world in a very small way is a better place for having hosted our family.

Without a doubt being a mother has changed me cost me more than dollar signs can value but it is worth the price tag. So my darling if your about to take the leap of faith into the unknown pool of motherhood I will do my darnedest to be your cheer squad I will tell you everything I know about settling a baby to to sleep and stretching out mince meat to feed the growing tribe. I will be there to toss you a life ring when things get tricky cheer with you when its all going right
  

From your loving and honest (some say blunt) friend